Hey Muffin,
Did you have fun with your lab partner Martin at the store? Are you okay? Ohhh, seems like a blowout to me. Now don't cry, I'll clean you up. I know you're embarrassed, but when you wear diapers, you're bound to have one sooner or later. Maybe those khaki shorts weren't such a good idea after all. C'mon, lets go get you changed, and after you need to call your friend and make sure you didn't make a mess in his car. Accidents are one thing, but I won't abide rudeness in this house.

I think I just found an interesting littlespace hack! Instead of watching cartoons or little shows while playing, I've been putting on old classic sitcoms as background noise. Things like Cheers, or Golden Girls, or Full House. Afterall, when I was growing up, I rarely got to watch what I wanted, so coloring or playing while the adults were watching TV was pretty common. Does anyone else do this, or is it just me?

Hey Bookworm,
I just got a call from the university. They said they are making all your classes virtual from now on, so I set up a little desk in your room for you to use. Whats wrong? Your professors require video calls? Well, I know you get embarrassed sometimes, so I made sure the camera couldn't see your changing table or your supplies. Nothing I could do about the crib though, its just too big. Just tell them its an art project, no one will question it.

Hey Picasso,
I see you got into the finger paints at daycare today. It's all over your hands, your face, it's even in your hair. Well lets see what warranted this mess. Is this our house? And that's us? Wow! This is definitely fridge material. You are really good, maybe you should change your major to art. It'd be more fun than business, and I make enough money for both of us. Speaking of changes, I think someone is a little past due. Think any of the other art students get backseat changes?

Hey Super Soaker,
Your diaper leaked on the bed again? Don't worry, I'm not mad, after all your waterproof sheets won't let you stain the mattress. I wonder if changing your pajamas would help. Ok, tonight I want you to wear this after I change you into your nighttime diaper. Yes, it's a onesie! Baby blue with a t-rex on the front, just like your favorite diapers. It even has snaps in the crotch to make changes easier. You'll be so cute, I might just make you wear them to class!

Hey Birthday Baby!
Are you ready for the party? I invited all your friends from the office and college! No, I understand, if you don't want to be a baby on your birthday, that's okay. I did get you a little cake though, just for you. It's a smash cake, but it's only for littles to eat with their hands while in a high chair, so I can clean you up before you run around getting frosting all over. You still sure you don't wanna be my baby today? That's what I thought, now lets go get you a bib.

Hey Muddy Monster,
Look at this floor! You tracked dirt and mud on the carpet again! You know you need to take off your shoes in the house... I have to punish you for this one. Don't pout at me like that, you're old enough to know better. First you're going to clean up this mess, than for the weekend you will only be allowed to crawl, until class on Monday. That way, you won't need shoes. Sorry Kiddo, its the only way you'll learn. Now, off you go, this mud isn't gonna clean itself.

Hey Sparky,
Did you notice the new addition to your room? That's right, its a real, full size, changing table! Now we can store all your supplies in one place, and its so cute! Truthfully, this is more for me than you. Now when I change your stinky diapers, I won't have to bend down so far. My back isn't what it used to be, and now that I'm looking after a college toddler full time it was getting so sore. Now hop up on there mister, I can see you're wet, lets take this baby for a test drive.

When someone regresses me, I want to try having them decide on a set of totally arbitrary rules that they don't tell me about, but will let me know when I break them? I think it could be fun to try to recreate learning how society functions, but I'd want stuff my adult mind couldn't guess and would just have to accept. I.E. You always have to use the blue crayons first, OR a bunch of regular words are now swear words that only bigs can use. Anyone ever tried something like that before?

Hey Stinker,
This is all your fault. If you hadn't taken so long to get ready and get packed and get settled down for the ride than we wouldn't be in this mess. Well, you wouldn't be in that mess I guess. Yes, I know you need a change, I can smell it from here, even with the windows open, but traffic is at a standstill, so I can't pull off the freeway to change you. You're just gonna have to wait. Even Adult Toddlerhood has its challenges. At least you're still cute when you're stinky.

Hey Camper,
Unfortunately it's time to head home. I know, It's nice to be carefree and relax in the mountains, but I've gotta get back to work and you've gotta get back to preschool... I mean college. You're right, you're a big boy who goes to college, even if you do still wear diapers. Now hop up into your carseat. Here's your sippy, oh don't forget Mr. Bear. What? No, I'm not waiting for you to go potty, what do you think those diapers are for. Don't worry, we'll be home before you know it.

Hey Trailblazer,
It's so nice to be out here in nature. The sunshine, the breeze, the smell of the pine trees. What could be better? Let's sit down here and set up our picnic. First, spread out the blankie. It's PB&J for lunch today, so we can forego the bib, just be super careful. Oh Boy, you're leaking. You're real soggy, let's get that taken care of. Seems like the sog monster likes the great outdoors too. I wonder if any of those people on the path wanna help change my special little man.

Hey First Mate,
Are you excited for a day out on the high seas? I got the boat all ready, just a few more things and we can set sail. Now remember, once we get out there and drop our lines in the water, you gotta be extra quiet or the fish won't bite. That means no whining about being bored or hungry. Good thing you'll be in those extra-thick diapers, so no need to come back to shore for potty breaks. Wow, those things are so big, I bet if you fall in, your diaper will soak up the whole lake!

Well I think its official. I used to claim to be a DL with AB tendencies, but after looking at my closet recently I think I may be an AB with DL tendencies. So many onesies, so little little time.

True story: I am literally incapable of eating s'mores without getting chocolate/melted marshmallows all over my face and hands. I feel like there is some magic technique that is written in the ancient texts of Babylon that describes this, but has been lost to time. Either that or I'm just messy. Has anyone figured this out yet?

Hey Sweetie,
Guess what time it is! It's time for S'mores!!! Here's a skewer, and a mallow. Hey, that's for roasting, not sword fighting, don't make me take it away. Now be a good little one. There by the coals. Let it plump up nice and big. OH NO, blow on it, quick... Whew, that was close, it almost fell off. Here's the grahm and the chocolate. So Good! You are a sticky mess. Okay you can have one more, than its straight to bath time and off to bed. Ugh, there's mallow in your hair!

Hey Buster,
Wake up! We're here! No no, don't try to get out, I'll come around to unbuckle you. Oh my, it smells like somebody needs a change, don't they. Oh don't be embarrassed, there isn't anyone around to hear me talking about changing your soaking wet diapers. Well, except for maybe those other cabins with the cars parked outside. I'm sure they aren't paying attention though. Now help me bring in all your supplies and than get ready for a weekend you'll never forget.

Hey Road Warrior,
How are you farin back there? Did you finish your calculus homework yet? Well keep workin on it, those formulas won't integrate themselves. I'm pulling into this rest area, I need to stretch my legs and you probably need a change, since you've already had 3 juice boxes. We may as well stop for lunch too. I made PB&Js for us. Yes, you can have yours with marshmallows and bananas. Better get done with your schoolwork soon, I'm already way ahead in license plate bingo.

Hey Speedster,
What do you think you're doin, sitting in the front seat. Ya I know you used to sit up here all the time, even drive every once in awhile, but those days are long gone my friend. The place for little ones is in the back seat. I even got you a special racing carseat, with your own steering wheel so you can pretend to drive like you used to. Now get your padded bum back there so I can strap you in. No, I don't care if you think you're too big for a car-seat, this is about safety.

Hey Co-Pilot,
Are you ready for our trip to the cabin this weekend? You know its a long car ride, so we gotta make sure you're prepared. Do you have plenty of snacks? Books? Your coloring book and crayons? Car games so you don't get bored on the drive? Your Game Buddy? Oh its called a Switch now huh? What about Mr. Bear? Sippy cups? Bibs? Extra Binkies? Your Blankey? Don't forget the huge suitcase full of diapers. Wouldn't want to run out up there. Can't have a soggy co-pilot on my watch.

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