me: you're all babies, I'm a big kid

several people are typing...

daddy: Here, drink this baba that is totally not full of laxatives

me: Okay, I believe you!

Mom: We bought you your first underwear, and look! a training potty as well!

Me: Yikes! You're cancelled, sis. And that's that on that

non-standard english 

jever see em fre'in language is gonna fall apart just cuz ey can't keep up wif innovations? like aye yain't mushin wif all eight huskies eh by? jever fux wif proto-indi-european en glory how far we come?

Austin boosted

vape juice that makes you baby-brained >>>

whoever invented fade-when-wet designs was a narc

abdl kiddo-speak 

I love these fading paw prints that help me learn the difference between wet and dry. I can finally say for certain that I prefer wet. Sorry, you were saying something about a potty?


sorry kiddo, your diaper says don't open until christmas. Maybe if you're good, Santa will bring you some cream for the ensuing rash

abdl lifestyle 

I bought too many diapers. after having the option of wearing a few days straight I get antsy after a few days of not wearing. the puppy is not built for being big this long

Daniel Tiger's a cute show and all, but the episode on toileting smacks of bourgeoisie propoganda

old people were comparing old age to reverting back to childhood. I figured that wasn't something to flex on them about 🍼

caretaker tip: "Here Comes The Airplane" is a lot less charming in a Post-9/11 World

if you feel a stinging sensation in your skin, that's just the ghost of a tattoo artist painting all the paw prints that you have faded

diaper to keep my bum warm, long johns for the rest

mental health, negative self-talk 

Brain: remember that stupid thing you did ten years ago? you should beat yourself up about it
me: nobody's holding a gun to my head over it
brain: damn lemme get back to you on that

mental health, EDM 

ever since hearing a DJ drop this song a few nights ago, I've been telling myself "nobody's holding a gun to your head" whenever my brain has been a C. And it's been more effective than all the cognitive behavioural therapy combined.

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